bog roll

My friend said he’d get me on the internet from his house.

I don’t think it works from my house, I’ve got one of these normal phones without buttons, no pictures on it – unless you count the sticker from cornflakes last week -  it doesn’t even have a touch screen, it just has your regular rotary dialer and a place to hang the phone.

Anyway he said to get onto wordpress and do a blog roll maybe put up some links.

I came in past the outhouse and it fair pen and inks, he’s right on the money there.

So here’s a picture of my bog roll.

Now here’s a secret you can save for a fortune by. Apparently there was a cock up at the factory this week so every roll has two layers instead of one. So you get double for your money. Not many people know that so keep it to yourself.

And if times are hard you could use both sides. Of course there’s the old joke about recycling. HA!

You can’t fool me,  after you’ve used both sides you can see its dirty, so the only way to use it again is to wash it. I’ve been to asia and they have a bin for used roll that needs washing and so it don’t clog up the crapper,

Anyway I tried washing them at the laundry machines but it didn’t look good once it finished in the dryer, so I left it there for the next person that walks in. They probably don’t know about the mistake at the factory, with the 2 layers, so I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.

I seen something in a movie about using a shell but that seemed to be an in joke I wasn’t in on, neither was Rocky – you know the boxer he’s now an actor – so I feel OK about it.

Not gonna get me down, nothings gonna break my stride. Tune. yeah baby yeah.

Instead of a pint, I just adder half.

But half doesn’t quench me thirsts.

So to economising, is sticking with pints. No head mind.

To boost the beer budget, I stopped eating at the Ritz of an evening.

As for lunchin, I’ll stick to a swift half and a packet of crisps.

Fast facts:

3.50 Pint

1.90 1/2 Pint

Save 30 pence per pint!

So once it’s laid out, it’s obvious, the more pints you drink the more you save!

Packet o crisps – they have gone up cos of the price of oil. We all know theyre cooked in the stuff.

Oil is now 70 pounds a barrel. I never bought a barrel of oil before so I didn’t know how much it costs but  I’m sure that’s gone up or maybe I think about the same if  you add up inflation over the years. Anyway, its quite heavy on the back of your bike I imagine.

Never seen what you’d want with a barrel of oil. My lamps runs on parrafin and the new motor sticks with petrol. I heard you can put cooking oil or vegetable oil instead, but people are half-inching it from behind the school kitchen. I took some scraps for the horses, but the dogs or rats got to it. Lucky we’ve got the horses they just eat hay.

Anyway, crisps are off the menu for now.

Have another beer.

tetley makes tea bags make tea

Also as the boss said in the office, you don’t need to throw away yer tea bag after you has made a cuppa. Tetley has been making tea bags makes tea  for a long time, I seen it on the telly.

You can probably make 5 cups wiv `1 tea bag if no one is looking.

A coupla quid (pounds – a currency unit in UK) saved ere and there don’t half help m’lord.

As fast as you can say ‘bob’s yer uncle’ you’ll be putting down on that new manor house. As the man on the telly said, ther’s never been a better time to buy. Your average working class man forking out only half a million squid for a town dwelling. Country bumpkins can pick up a cottage in the countryside for about the same.

A more traditional manor house with 2 mile gravel drive way, coupl’acres just to afford some privacy off the road probably set you back couple million. But what’s a couple million pounds between friends?

My line of thinking sez it could be a wait’n'see time. Some hexperts are thinking that the new market for houses is overheated and could crash and burn. Probably you could burn your house and collectin insurance but make sure the coppers don’t find out or yourd be right nicked.

The best one was the geezer who died then went travelling overseas after his missis collected the life insurance. They left their photo album on the internet counter. And found im hiding in a cupboard.

It goes wivout saying that we all know about inflation, it’s only the  government that finks we aven’t a clue and can’t work it out yet. Or they think we haven’t noticed – that really takes the biscuit.

I think the writings on the wall, the big bank will put up its rates again. I wish they’d leave bambi out of it tho, and stop this silly talk about stagflation.

It’s time for a cuppa guvnor. Scones n’all.

1 lump or 2?

Right, you put your own milk then.